literature

people doing what they can't.

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Literature Text

i/b. well the flower-fingered girl, i met her last year. no, two years ago. all she wanted was love, a boyfriend. not the same thing but she wanted it to be.
she grew up over the course of that year, less naive. she wrote poems. still does.
i think.

c. the ocean-eyed girl, that's the one. she's after ribs; bones bones and more bones. or well, she'd like to be after them anyway. she used to be after blood. now she's after wanting to be after bones. funny how life works, but hey.
this is the only way she can get guts, i suppose.

she's used to missing
people. and places too. used to that feeling of iwanttogohome, replaced as months go by by
ihavenohome. just feelings.
feelings feelings feelings.

v/j. the cigarette-laced boy, yeah, he --
ocean-eyed girl. remember all the days and nights you spent together? under the blankets and under
the sky? the stars?
trees wind and smoke? laughter, singing, beer, vodka, even tears when one of you lost
control?
you trusted each other till the ends of the earth, and you thought you understood
each other, but really you just
knew
each other.
loved
each other.

c. sometimes she gets sick of going after and under things. sometimes she wants to be in the lead for a change.
(she hates change but always has more coins than bills. seem pretty useless but they add up if you count 'em.)

v/j. after he found out he was gay he would have sex with almost every guy he met.
guy? man. they were all at least 10 years older than him. his best
fuck-buddies
were in their early 30s when he was 16 so they were actually almost twice
his age.
the more the merrier he would say. but what he wanted was
love.
someone to care.

k. you. i don't have a name for you because i don't really know
you. never did. you hair had highlights (still
does)  and you were the sweetest
thing. i liked you. we all did.
i hear the silky-haired girl isn't so close
to you anymore because she just can't handle it[/you]
anymore.
she's been dealing with you[r anorexia] for
seven
years now, after all.

the bad luck is over now, you know.
so what if you broke
a mirror. you can break
free
now.

e. she would sneak out at night, the dark-eyed girl would. just to feel
alive. there would be the pavement and the alcohol and the
stars.
and she would just want to
die
even more than
she usually did.
i'm writing a novella about her, that dark-eyed girl. about her and her relationship with the
ocean-eyed girl.

c. she's very sorry (.)
she didn't do a better job with the
dark-eyed girl, but the truth is she wouldn't take back
a single word of those last few emails. she stood up
for herself, for once.

she never feels good enough.

i/b. she's in spain now you know. with her
boyfriend whom she loves. there were ups and downs, she finally experienced some
pain.

she loves cherry blossoms, the flower-fingered girl
does. she always will. maybe because in their own
simple way, they're
pretty. and maybe because in their own
simple
way, they're
bittersweet.

she's always loved spanish. i say, either they break
up or they're
meant to be.
(not that i believe
in fate.)

k. the silky-haired girl told me you had less
than a year left to
live.
that was over
a year ago.
but you still aren't any
better.

your boyfriend (fiance?) loves
you, said the silky-haired girl, in an american kind of way. meaning he takes you
out to
diner
and to see movies and buys you things and has sex
with you.

i wonder whether he'll know
how to love you in a death-bed
kind of way.

i wonder whether the silky-haired girl
will.

wonder whether in a way, she already
does, and if that's why you hardly talk
anymore.

b. the cat-eared girl wants to be a vet. always has, always
will. she draws like nobody's business, she's an artist.
reads a lot. writes a fair amount too that one, she's writing a book
series about an imaginary
world
which is
what she loves
the most,
she visits it in her
dreams and in her
mind.

she's underweight because she gets
distracted too easily.

she's in an early college, her mother is italian, and her family is
kind. hilarious. intelligent. brilliant.

she feels
lucky and hates
it because it isn't
fair.
it what it. oh right that it. life it justice it luck it coincidence it.
she wants to fix things.
she wants to fix
people.
she already
does.

c. she is going to be a psychologist because she wants [to] help
people. she already
does. she always
will.

k. i think i know the silky-haired girl told you about the
rape. and about the
cutting. and about the
purging. and about the other
rape. maybe even about the suicide
attempt.
but i'm not sure she told you she also told
me.
the ocean-eyed girl really cares about
her, you know. yes, i know
you know. you're trust-worthy aren't you, silent
as a tomb.

v/j. his family finding out about him being gay was quite a blow. they're vietnamese, had to do some
thinking things
over.
guess they shouldn't have moved (him)
away
in the first
place.

he used to steal his father's cigarettes. father never
noticed.

c. she has a bmi of 18, which is her favorite number. in hebrew 18 is the same word as
khay which translates to
life.
funny because she started loving 18 at
9 when she wasn't such a huge fan of life
(herself).
it's also the age when she can move
away
from
home.

she thought she was fatter
than that.
people say she's thin, she
says she's fatter than she
looks.

she does a lot of saying the ocean-eyed girl
does.
wishes she could do more
doing but it's hard to know where
to start.

v/j. the abused girl told the ocean-eyed girl he was losing
himself, trying
to become more like his
boyfriend.
the ocean-eyed girl may have lost
touch, may have broken
a promise, but she still
loves
him. and that

hurts.

k. what i want to know is, why did nobody
help you properly.
because now you are going
to die
and it is

too late.

b. one of her main fascinations has always been
angels.
always will be.
non-fiction. just a few of the broken i
know.

"she's lost in her daydream
been this way since 18
but lately her face seems
slowly sinking wasting
crumbling like pastries
and they scream
the worst things in life come free to us
cause we're just under the upper-hand
and go mad for a couple of grams
and she don't want to go outside tonight
and in a pipe she flies to the motherland..."

-ed sheeran, "the a team" <3


the writing quality is probably abysmal, i can't tell right now. but yeah, this may be scrapped, stored or deleted later.
© 2011 - 2024 towards-eternity
Comments41
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WinterofFire's avatar
I've loved this forever and had it stored on my computer.
It's truthful, and it's about different people.
I don't know what the letters stand for, but I'm guessing it's the speaker? Correct me if I'm wrong.
Oh shite.... I love this....