gloaming

i speak loudly
in my head

                          the ghosts
                          well they
don't scare me
                          at all
nothing does
                          anymore

honey, take my hand, let
- me show you why
the earth just keeps on
spinning around
despite the fact
that we're all
drowning and drowned,
dancing on mangled tip-
toes, and dreaming
upside-down

                          (i don't shiver
                           when their cold
                           skin touches
                           mine; i don't shiver
                           at all)

as your auburn hair
gets tangled in the branches
with the green green crackling
leaves, dying breath of
summer air, the sap courses
through your veins like blood
and i wonder, will i manage to
suck you dry, will i manage
to

                           and she said
                           "because you want
                            control," she
                            said "why
                            do you want
                            control" and i
                            don't want to
                            talk about
                            this right
                                   now

you do not have blood
like the rest of us do, you
must be not-alive and we
don't understand that that
means you can still-die

we do not can not see
that beneath the sap
blood runs too
away from me and a
way from you,
we do not can not see
(and we say you're
the one who's
blind, just as blind
as the rest of us real
ly but somewhat different
ly)

and the earth
is still spinning around
so hold my hand
close your eyes and pretend
this is solid ground

strewn with fallen leaves
as we crush ourselves and we
crush each other we just want
to fly             high up
                                          into the
                                                     sky

feel the tree's trunk; it
is grounded rooted
beautiful and strong, but
cracks run through it
                                      too

(open your hands and
the fireflies you caught
no matter how much
you tried to hold
on, they're gone)